Search This Blog

Monday, August 01, 2005


Let's face it-English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger. There is neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. French fries and French toast? Nope, not from france. Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose: two geese. One moose: two meese? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Isn't it weird that people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while wise man and wise guy are opposite? How can overlook and over see be opposite, while quite a few and quite a lot are alike? Isn't it crazy that a house can burn up as it burns down? And you fill in a form by filling it out? And an alarm clock gows off by going on? English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

No comments: